Finally, why not prepare for a SURPRISE mammogram?

That's right – when you head into the breast clinic for a quick ultrasound to double-check that it's only yet another annoying cyst, you may be the lucky recipient of a spur-of-the-moment mammogram!

After enduring the cold plates and the squeezing and the awkward small talk, you may then have the additional pleasure of hearing "At your age, the tissue is still very dense, so we don't normally bother. These results won't tell us anything whatsoever!"

Great news! Your surprise mammogram was a complete waste of time, but hey, at least your sore, cyst-prone tits are still relatively perky for now.

(With sincere love to mammograms and boob technicians.)